If I don't have an emotional knee-jerk reaction to an action and instead choose my response how do I make that choice? It seems to me that the choice I make will always reflect my value system although perhaps imperfectly. Will I manifest "Do unto others" or "Turn the other cheek." or "What goes around comes around." or "An eye for an eye." or "Might makes right." or "The virtue of selfishness" or " Truth above all else." or "Show me the money." etc. etc. I think this is probably what Deida is addressing when he says that the superior man needs to make his own rules.
Given that Deida seems to be implying in his book for women that at root (or perhaps climax) a woman should/would have an emotional response, it seems to me that the "frame" or "purpose" of the superior man is truly his value system and how strongly he projects it in his life and in relationship. So if a woman is "testing" a man's masculinity she is really testing his "value system" and his ability to support it. Therefore, if I , for example, were willing to have sex with a man just because he had massive biceps, I would be in a sense signaling that the value system that I wanted to follow or respond to emotionally was "rule of the jungle".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
