Trying to get WAW back

[Dom R]

Thank you for sharing that, Dave.

Unfortunately, I think that nothing you wrote, detracts from what I wrote.
In no way does kicking you out of the home, help her with bullimia.
What it DOES do, is stop you seeing what she's doing.
For example, if she's actually doing worse with bullimia, or continuing her EA.

Also, it is CLASSIC behaviour, that the spouse fixes themselves up physically, when they get involved with someone (or in this case, possibly re-involved with someone.

I told her that she should seriously consider letting me home after she gets past some of her problems

From the little I know about bulimia.. you never "get past it". It's like alchoholism. You can get it "under control", but it's never "not an issue". She will probably struggle with it during times of stress, for the rest of her life.

She's fixing herself up all right.. but she's doing it to be with other people, I'm guessing.


When people have problems... ESPECIALLY women... which do they more commonly do? shut themselves off from everyone? or go to one or two people they feel close to?

If she's shutting you out, then she's probably letting someone else IN, to help her get through this.
Any females wanna back me up on that?

If you just stand aside right now, then she's going to come out of this with someone else as "her hero, who helped her conquer bulimia", and she's going to have a bond with him that will last years in gratittude for that.
Years that you will lose with your children, if you ever manage to recover your marriage after that. You may recover your marriage, but you will never get back the time you are missing with your children right now.

You are so afraid of what is going to happen if you move back.
In my opinion, you should be more afraid of what is going to happen if you dont.
You will lose your relationship with your children, AND lose your marriage as well.

If you move back, then, worst case, she will divorce you just like she is probably already planning to do. but at minimum, you will salvage your relationship with your children.
Right now, all they see is that you are abandoning them to their mother. You have moved out away from them.

Children are very simple. You can try to explain with words all you want, but what they really internalize, are your actions, and that you dont live with them any more