My wife told me today that... Why do people have to be cruel?
By "people" do you mean your wife? Isn't she the one who repeated it to you? Or do you mean the coworker was cruel to your W by making a crass joke?
Your W repeated this to you (if she didn't just make it up) as an in-your-face, "what are you going to do about it?" comment. She is definitely trying to get your attention. She may be enjoying seeing you jealous.
I agree with Mark's advice above, as well. You need to stop pursuing, stop snooping, get the book, and get going.
