Now I've done it

[nephartiti]

Oh, yes, Dobson's tough love. If you write that letter, be very careful how you word it. You do not want to put guilt or come off as being manipulative. The idea is to display unconditional love for your spouse while setting clear boundaries that demonstrate you are not willing to sacrifice your values and self respect. It's hard to do both at the same time, especially when one is an emotional mess.

The choice is yours, but I recommend demonstrating these things through your actions without actually giving the actual letter. The letter may come off as persuing, especially since your spouse is already out the door. This technique is most effective when the Spouse does not want to lose what they have. Then the "crisis" might work. I'm sure other people here will give you their opinions too. The tough love seems to be a controversial subject in these parts.