going- Well, you have come to the right place. Most of us have been exactly where you are right now (I know I was there back in May 2007).
First, you need to get your hands on Michelle's book Divorce Remedy. I suggest that you pick it up at bookstore, because you do not want your wife to know you are reading it. Keep the book hidden from her. Once you have the book, flip to pagee 124 & read the Last Resort Technique. Then read it again. After you have done that, begin reading on page 1.
The basic DB strategy involves three things: 1 - Do not beg, cry, plead, reason with spouse. Desparate, needy people are not attractive.
2 - Do 180's. This is exactly what it sounds like. If you have been doing something that bothers her, stop.... or if there is some area of your life that needs improvement, do it. But DO NOT tell her or point it out. Let her find out on her own. One of the 180's for me was that I was indifferent (if not rude at times) to her friends and family. Not any more... Look within yourself for these.
3 - Get a life. You need to go out and do things. Join a men's club at church, take karate, boxing, walking club, the list is flippin' endless. You need to do stuff you have never done before. Show her that you have moved on, and will be OK without her. Find your passion and live it. This is the most powerful weapon you have to stop this divorce.
I have read some of your other threads, and here are my observations. First, please be more candid. You said on the other thread that she is moving out, but left out that detail here. The more we know, the more we can help. So pick one thread (I suggest this one) and post only here. Go ahead and offer help to others on their threads, but ask for help here.
Second, your wife senses your neediness. She knows that you are desparately clinging to her. The minute that she is aware that you don't need her is the minute that you begin drawing her back to you. You NEED to emotionally detatch from her, and you NEED to believe that your emotional happiness is not dependent on her love for you. Hey, it ain't easy. It took me months to get there. Forunately divorce is not an overnight thing. Time is your friend here, but you need to act now.
In closing, visit this board, and read what other people are posting. If I have learned anything it's that this group is full of caring supportive people who are willing to help. I'm one of 'em.
One more thing... you need help beyond what we can offer here. You should see a therapist ASAP. And an MD for an anti-depressant. I have read what you have written on other posts and it scares me.
