Maybe it needs to be out in the open. You said no one knows about it? Not family?
My H too refused to move out months after I knew,but I could no longer stand his coming and goings and eating so much cake I became disgusted at the sight of him. So, the only way I knew to get him to move out and yes w/ OW (to see life as reality w/her) was to be mean everyday and push him to leave.
H is seeing its not so green on the other grass now......
