Please help in dealing with Hs affair!!!

[lester]

Here's the thing with snooping as many of us can attest. Yes some things maybe unavoidable like laundry or cell phone bills but it helps to think of it like an addiction. The only thing you can do is not support it by setting boundaries such as no kids around OP, OP not to come near the house unless they're wearing a bullet proof vest etc.

As far as how to deal with it... exercise seems to help me best with things that REALLY get to me like the bill you just described would. Sometimes it's hard to act "as if" so what I do in those situations is clean the house, go for a walk, play with the kids until I am calm again. I think the impression from DBing is that you will always have nerves of steel. We all know that's not true so perhaps avoiding face time and doing the things mentioned above can help in your situation.

You, on the other hand, could tell him what you found on the bill but I would stick to something like "Our cellphone bill is $100 over what it normally is, we'll have to try to limit the number of calls we make next month". It is truthful yet non-accusatory (which would be counterproductive) and also shares blame for the high cost of the bill. It's really a minor point that he is mostly responsible for the higher cost.

I actually have the same sitch with my wife making $260 in calls above our plan minutes. Most to her mom and some other unknown numbers. Calls to OM are high but not the majority. Sorry for the boring background... just wanted you to know we're here for ya.