Don't worry about the 2x4 comment--I didn't take your posts as a beating, just some much appreciated info from another angle. And they made me feel TONS better. Really.
I've been working more this week, keeping busy, and trying to focus in on my connection to my spirituality. I truly feel that I am being/will be lead by God as long as I keep myself tuned to listen for his direction, and the busyness of life seems to drown that out...you know? So I've been trying to focus back in on it.
H stayed home from work--sick in bed--yesterday. I seriously cannot remember the last time he did that. I was tired last night, so I packed the kids off to bed early and took the night off too...we just lounged on the bed and watched movies. Two of the movies involved in their major plot lines infidelity, and I think I did a pretty good job of not letting them bother me, but one OW comment did make me cry. H was sweet about it and snuggled up to me. I got over it and appreciated his effort. I can't decide if it was stupid for me to let him see that, or good for him to see that it still hurts sometimes. I guess it doesn't really matter as long as I'm not hanging it over his head all the time.
H isn't leaving for his work trip this weekend.
Well, time to get going--I wish you all a happy weekend.
glad you were able to fall gracefully when you were watching movies. I'm always reading the synopsis to make sure As are not the core of the movie, not ready to watch something like that with my H, I did love Perfect Stranger with Hally Barry, it had something about an A, but I watched alone and I didn't mind, it was good!
Hugs hon, have a good one too)_)))))))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Aud, I hope your weekend bears fruit and your steadily move forward.
Quote:
I truly feel that I am being/will be lead by God as long as I keep myself tuned to listen for his direction, and the busyness of life seems to drown that out...you know?
DING DING DING! that is exactly what has been my problem and what chimes in my head daily...my allowing life to cloud God's direction.
Of course you are going to shed a tear or two when you see a role in a movie acted out on the crap you had to endure. Hats off to your H for attending to it in the right manner!
Have a good weekend AUD....maybe see amovie or two on what you are going through now.....building the foundation of happiness and acceptance....peace
DING DING DING! that is exactly what has been my problem and what chimes in my head daily...my allowing life to cloud God's direction.
I'm with you Whapu, it's a lot tougher than it sounds...I'm trying to make more alone time to focus in, but that is harder some days than others. So I'm trying to just turn my thoughts that direction more: talking to God while I drive, catching myself wandering and changing my thoughts towards Him, trying to forego good things in exchange for better things. Those things don't really take any more time, just awareness.
Nothing super new here. H was sick all weekend, but was still somewhat affectionate despite his raging headache and fevers. It was all work, work, work for me. I'm feeling really fuzzy today with new schedules: my work, D5 kindergarten, S3 preschool (which might just be postponed for now), church responsibilities, and then there's all the household stuff too. Makes me tired just typing.
I have to admit to some moments of panic with H's lessened attention to me this past week. I know he was truly ill, but it brought a lot of really unpleasant memories crashing around my head. GRRR.
Still plowing forward with one eye on God and the other on the MOUNTAIN of stuff I need to do, with frequent sidelong glances at the picture of me becoming the woman I really want to be.
I just posted this on The Girl's thread, but it really hit home for me today...some thoughts I jotted down earlier this year, and they're important for me to remember:
-Accept reality for what it is now, gain personal independence from that...be more self-sufficient and less needy -Don't take responsibility for anyone else's thoughts, feelings...don't assume -Act as if, but don't center my life, decisions, thoughts and actions around him: GAL
Why do I need to be reminded constantly about everything I already know? I'd read a cheat sheet every morning to remember everything I need to remember, but I'd be reading all day!
Good luck on the "memories", you've got to fight them off. The fact that he's sick and still trying is quite encouraging, I would definately note that in the back of your mind. I had to realize sometime that our own momentum has to change also to make things work.
hey Aud, there are countless of times when something that is posted here rings a bell and I remember "hey! I forgot to think that way!" we are allowed our senior moments, after all, our mind was put into the spin cycle a few times LoL
I like what you jotted down, something to repeat every morning
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
