Plus why do geeks never work out or wear decent clothes? It would help.
Sometimes I feel like software engineers and other deeply technical guys are engaged in a form of mental MB. They actually don't want to share the mental joys of what they are doing with anyone else. It's done for their own private excitement. You don't get that with philosophers, artists, musicians, poets, writers etc.
What I have experienced with some, not all, geeks, is that many were not athletic or the “jock” type in school. So rather than compete physically, they competed mentally. These kids have to be bright to develop the skills to be a geek, but they also need the drive. For some, being a geek is what they truly like. For others, being a geek is a passive aggressive way to show the “jocks” that they are mentally superior. Yep, even geeks have egos.
Wierdly though in the hap household it seems like it's generally the other way around. H is the one who likes to engage in a pity party and I'm the one trying to see the funny side. He hates it though, he thinks I'm being too frivolous about a serious situation.
This last sentence caught my attention. My middle daughter has in the past said she is a serious person and does not like to joke and play around like some of her friends. She has at times thought my W was not taking her seriously, therefore not validating her, when W was actually trying to lift her spirits.
I have thought on this a lot and believe that D14 is actually uncomfortable with too much mushy feelings because she has not seen that modeled to her, what with all the fighting W and I have done over the years. So even though D14 wants the frivolity, she is uncomfortable with how it feels because she has not experienced it enough. We are aware of this and are working on it. Could this be the same for your H?
