Hi Slowly!

Another person who goes waaaaaay back on the old BB. Thanks for coming over here to my humble thread. Did you see that Meredith is back? Crazy world, isn't it? \:\)

Now, on to your questions...
Quote:
Do you wonder if there are others in your life who feel like he does?


My first reaction to this was complete paranoia! As in, "Why? Did Betsey say that about me?" Then I realized that was silly.

Quote:
Do you want to be different?


Of course I want to be different. I wasn't saying, hey, I am selfish and proud of it! I don't even know that selfish is the right word in this situation. I am not trying to backtrack out of what I said, but I do need to explain that yes, I was caught up in my own pain. It wasn't that I didn't want to help my H thru his own, it was more that I didn't understand that he had his own. I was feeling like he was blaming me for all of our communication issues. That hurt. I felt like he was saying, "we just can't communicate, so we can't be together." That hurt, too. Here is the one person in my life that I really want to have that deep communication with. Being told that I couldn't brought out the 'fixer' in me who looked ahead to a finish line (good communication), but really didn't set up a path to get there. I guess that could be looked at as selfish. Selfish sounds so mean, though. I think it was more ignorance than anything.

Quote:
what's stopping you changing?

Nothing. That is why I am here.
I do try to slip in the fact that I am not here to save my marriage, though. I am a smart girl. That ship has sailed. Now, if I were that selfish, I would just move past it all. But, I do not want to make these same mistakes.

Does this make sense to anyone?