RCR - a great post - my therapist who is basically trained in TA, although he uses a variety of methods, echoed a number of things you said - they are the wounded child who has to (re) grow into the man or woman on their own. If they return as the wounded child we become the parent.
He also said there are pockets of reality when they try and return, or 'restore normality' before they are through the crisis. I think it also explains reconnection, when they go around trying to put the broken jigsaw of their life back into a new pattern, and fitting the LBS is the final thing. With touch and goes they seem to try with the spouse first, and then fit the other bits around them, and this doesn't work.
We can't be the light that rescues them, but the light that shines for them. There is a difference, and it is important.
