Yes it is a bit chicken and eggy. I don't admire you much because all you ever seem to do is wallow in self-pity and get pissy with me if I try to cheer you up. So now I've got to act like I do admire you to help you dig yourself out of this hole. But hey if you need help digging your way out of it what's to admire?
On the occasions when I have said the equivalent of "It seems like you are dealing with a really challenging situation. I'm sure you can handle it."
That is taken as a trite piece psycho-babble with which I'm trying to wash my hands of him.
If I say have you tried X or Y it is taken as trying to be Mrs Fixit and don't I think he would be trying X or Y if it would possibly work.
So really now all I do is say "Poor old you, let me know if there's anything I can do to help". And he shakes his head sadly and takes on an even more long-suffering look. And I skip away to go about my business in the land of happy people that don't bite off more than they can chew, make promises they can't keep, drink and smoke themselves half to death so they're only running on one cylinder, never leave themselves time for R&R etc.
The common thread on this board for me is that my H most closely resembles your 2BX, Corri's X and Fearless' X. It's starting to feel like all the smart girls made the right decision.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
