When to move back in together?

[the girl]

Running,
He seems to be exactly in the space you described here:
Did the phone records indicate he's still talking with her? It could mean he's trying to disconnect from her "without hurting her." Sometimes they do that. And sometimes disconnecting from the OW can be a long process. Oddly they can feel guilty about leaving them or having "used them." I know the logic is crazy... like what about us? But it's kind of like how sometimes we treat friends kinder and more respectfully then family or spouses. There's a sort of saving face or wanting to "look good." It's not about the OP, but about the image they've created to that OP and not wanting to lose that or look bad. OP is like a mirror. They like how they see themselves in OP.

They were last talking about a month ago. Since then his treatment of me has been steadily positive. Slowly more affectionate.

The good thing about my H is that he lies with words but not actions. He cannot play two women at once. He has to be loyal to one. So, when he is being cold, aloof, and nasty to me he is most definately in deep contact with her. He has proven this about a dozen times. This alone should tell me how much they speak. I am thinking that if I start feeling the mean alien treatment I can either tell him I know he is up to something, or snoop it out and then throw him out! This way, I can maintain amnesia and being the Olympic winner wife.

He got fired yesterday. He is in the mortgage industry, so I felt it coming. He is not acting scared about our finances, and is talking about how he can get a cheaper car, downsize, etc.

Then he said some fantastic things:
"I have realized that so much of life has to do with one's attitude. It is so important to be thankful. It is so hard to not feel entitled."

About his boss: "If the reason I was supposed to work for Bob was to listen to him encourage me to stay with you, then the job was worth it. I told him the other day how much I appreciated him helping me through this time and telling me to do what's best for my family."

"I think it will be really fun living with you and the girls in your apartment. Things will get a lot better between us. I promise."

Soooo, I am in shock about the job and not quite sure where the money is going to come from but I am trying to play it cool. My gut tells me that I better encourage him like crazy right now.

Geez, this has been the Mount Everest of Family Stress year.

Running, I know what you mean about figuring out what I can live with. Also, this is going to become my battle cry:
I'd look at OW as a challenge. I'd probably try to be such a fabulous wife that she'd completely pale in comparison. I'd be the perfect listener, sex partner, friend, companion... you name it.... and that way if things did seem to get out of hand or H decided to leave... he'd definitely regret it. At the same time I'd still DB, GAL, 180 and do things for me. That way I'm prepared to be happy regardless of where things go.

I just might right that down and read it several times a day. It is the perfect recipe to combat the OW anger. I can picture her head on the end of my mop as I clean my house beautifully, knowing that my H, who chose ME, will be so pleased with a clean house. Ha!

Here I go! I will be the Flying Tomato Wife...olympic champion with a winning attitude!
The Girl