It isn't about replying to him. It isn't about him. It is about you. It is about the way you see yourself. It is about the fact that what you see is what you don't have. That is why I quoted you in my last post. You have to change that. Stop thinking about your H and what you have to do there and start thinking about becoming a positive person. You have to change yourself before you can affect change in others.
Read this book. Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting by Lynn Grabhorn.