Beginning in 1999, I started having affairs with women. I have since reconnected w/God and returned to the church for healing. However, it is the same church that my wife attends. I have found out that she WAS having an affair w/someone in that church (they have since stopped).
God has led me to "stand" for my marriage and be open to her returning home (we have been seperated for two years). She however wants NOTHING to do w/me and dislikes that I now attend the same church that she and our two boys attend. What do I do?
is there any more you can tell us about your sit... how have the two of you communicated throughout the two year separation...the problems that led to your affairs..how you have changed...has she seen any of these changes evolving or did ya just show up one day at church as new man??
how have the two of you communicated throughout the two year separation Reply: Very well. Anything that dealt w/the kids we did togather.
the problems that led to your affairs Reply: I was just unhappy with how your marriage was going.
how you have changed Reply: I have ask for forgiveness of God and her. I have moved closer to my family to be a bigger influence in the lives of my boys.
has she seen any of these changes evolving or did ya just show up one day at church as new man?? Reply: She would probably say the later.
Quote: I have felt led to give her some space so that God will melt her heart and rekindle the spark we once had.
that is called lovingly distant round here...you seem to know what to do..so then what are you seeking in comming here? not that you are not welcome of course...everyone is welcome here. but if you have made your decision to give her space and let her see that your changes are real..or as you put it "letting god soften her heart". what do you want to hear from people here?
that is called lovingly distant round here...you seem to know what to do..so then what are you seeking in comming here? not that you are not welcome of course...everyone is welcome here. but if you have made your decision to give her space and let her see that your changes are real..or as you put it "letting god soften her heart". what do you want to hear from people here?
LL It's not that I desire to hear anything in particular . . . I just want to know from a female prospective whay so maybe acting the way she is? And what I feel so rejected by her? I trust God and know that "all things work to the good" but I still have these feelings . . .
you have to put yourself in her postion....
you had affairs (multiple??) you left her...for two years...and now you change your mind...
this is not something taken lightly...yes you have "your" reasons why you did all that you did...but that doesn't discount the fact that it happend. just as it took you two years to realize how important your m and w are to you...it will take her time to accept you now... to accept that the changes you have made are real.
you feel rejected by her??? whe you feel that way...take a step back and think about how she must feel...have empathy.
tayers, we don't have enough info on what changes you have made or what was missing before to offer too much in the way of helpful advice. however, as a woman whose h started having affairs because he wasn't happy i can give you my point of view. you rejected your w and m when you chose to have affairs instead of going to your w with your concerns and discontent. you can't just say hey honey, i found God, so everythings all right now! you have to beg forgivenss(maybe you have) and tell her what you are willing to do to to make it right with her(again, maybe you have, we don't know your story) i am sure God has forgiven you, but there is lots of work to do before your m can be repaired.
i think if we knew more of what you have tried to win your w back and more of your story we could give you more input here. maybe you should try posting on newcomers, that board is very busy and you may get more responses. lisa
