Fearless: Wow your xH sounds like my H's twin, down to the perfect childhood that wasn't so perfect when you scratch the surface and the enmeshment that he thinks is my problem. Weird. I also had an upbringing in which people weren't afraid to call each other's [censored]. Somehow I think it works better although it might look abusive to the people having the nicey nicey upbringing. It's more honest.
Cac4: H is a programmer too (and I've done my share of coding, although now I just stick to the design stuff) I do wonder with you guys if the job takes up so much brain power that you have nothing left to contemplate life's other mysteries. H does not like to engage in conversation about: politics, the meaning of life, whether astrology is horseshit or not, what you reckon the neighbours are up to, etc etc.
Pretty much like Corri said only with him it's just work and the kids. Sport doesn't come into it and sex - nah.
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
