-----Original Message----- From: C, J [GCG-NAOT] Sent: Thursday, September 13, 2007 4:28 PM To: 'C,R' Subject: RE: Talk
R******
You said you have proof of me consulting an attorney, I called one while I was in Webster. The secretary told me they dont discuss any issues over the phone and a consultation will cost 150.00. Did I ever spent 150.00 while you had proof of the call to that office? No, I did not. Not then had I ever consulted an attorney and not now have I ever had. This shows that yes at that time I was considering but did I ever go tru with my intention. NO, I didnt.
I may have said a lot of things directly to you but never in any of my thoughts had any intentions of seeing our child out on the street. You are putting these words so you feel that I am doing so to our child. I was wrong to say those things to you and I have looked at the way I treated you while only looking at myself and no one else. This is one of the biggest issue I have faced and am facing but yet it is only negativity I hear from you. Whatever happened to at least you are trying J, at least you have became a part of D's life again J.
God help me to understand you fully and God help me to understand myself, all I ask is that I dont want to make this decision now. I thought of that before and while being here alone for 3 months I thought I was happy but I was not. I honestly thought about living a single man's life that I was going to be happy, I wasnt - it is not the same when you have a family. My life turned to alcohol and chat - that was the only happiness I ever had but what did that do to me nothing and solved nothing.
At first, when you all came here I had the same thoughts. By March or April I was rethinking the situation and I first mentioned to my coworker that I am reconsidering my relationship with my wife that I am deciding not to be single since they are many things I need to work on and having you all there gave me an opportunity to work on one of my biggest addictions. I had began to slow down on drinking. I am grateful for that. The first example was for xmas we didnt had any alcohol and we enjoyed that occasion very much. I really appreciated everything you did. For once, I never had any alcohol during that time for all the while we have been married.
Chatting and drinking, I saw those two items as the flaws I have in this marriage and I have been working on those flaws. I am not perfect but I admit to those two addictions and seek the proper way to deal with them.
To continue with your comment, did that ever happened. Again, it did not happened. Like I said, I said many things and many things didnt happened. A lot of people say things in the spur of the moment because they are angry. I am no exception to that and so are you. We are simply people and emotions and anger drives us wild at times and we say things we would normally not say.
A little drink of this anger medicine causes us to bring out things we have deep inside and instead of diffusing a problem but blows it up. I have realized this and a lot of times I cannot control my anger so I would push your buttons to see how far I can go. I realize doing so it only creates more bad than good. Again, I have my flaws and I am not perfect.
Lets talk about something positive, at least whenever we discuss our child's concern we are not hostile with each other and I do enjoy talking to you very much. The reason why I ask you to stay on the phone is for you to keep me calm and for me not to be coming to work angry and be pissed at the entire world. I dislike very much that whenever we discuss the relationship we always end up arguing but yet when we discuss the well being of our child its like we are different people.
Why cant everything be so great?
-----Original Message----- From: C,R [mailto: ] Sent: Thursday, September 13, 2007 4:04 PM To: C, J[GCG-NAOT] Subject: RE: Talk
You actually have the nerve to ask me that? Well here is your answer,ask yourself what steered you when you wanted it done and walked out,consulted a lawyer and called the leasing office to take me off the lease, and told me to take D and go your words, "get the f*** out my life, get out my world". This is the end of this conversation, I am not replying to anymore emails.
-----Original Message----- From: C, J [ ] Sent: Thursday, September 13, 2007 4:01 PM To: C, R Subject: RE: Talk
R******,
We had not even been tru any separation. So my question to you is what is really steering this divorce decision of yours?
-----Original Message----- From: C,R [mailto: ] Sent: Thursday, September 13, 2007 3:59 PM To: C, J [GCG-NAOT] Subject: RE: Talk
I don't feel I have anything else to say to you after last night and today (this morning). Seems to me you already made up your mind and Ive made up mind for sure. As for making a decision that will affect you for the rest of your life at short notice, well this isnt short notice. This has been four years in the making and you know that.
-----Original Message----- From: C, J [mailto: ] Sent: Thursday, September 13, 2007 3:57 PM To: C,R Subject: RE: Talk
It is about what you told me last night.
-----Original Message----- From: C,R [mailto: ] Sent: Thursday, September 13, 2007 3:52 PM To: C, J [GCG-NAOT] Subject: RE: Talk
And this talk concerns what?
-----Original Message----- From: C, J [mailto:] Sent: Thursday, September 13, 2007 3:49 PM To: C,R Subject: Talk
R******,
I need to talk to you. It does not have to be today but some time it has to happened. I do not feel I need to make a decision that can affect me for the rest of my life at close notice. I believe what needs to be accomplished can be done in the future but I don't sincerely believe I can make this decision very soon.
I hope you can understand and this is mutual.
-J
See the W, Listen to the W, but dont Speak back to the W. Bridle your tongue...
