This week, we had NC days, and we have had days when we swapped very friendly text message about what we are doing. I always sign mine off with a x (as I always have done), she just signs off with her initial. There was an incident Monday where I bought some books into work for her (she left them behind when she left Saturday) and she sent me a text saying "no need to bring anything else in, we can sort that stuff out later ....no rush" - anyone want to take a stab at deciphering that one??
So we have agreed to meet Sunday, so she can meet the dogs. If you have read my thread, you will also know that I intimated we needed to end this, and so that subject will likely come up.
All I know right now, is that I am totally confused. From her side, there is likely one of 4 things she is doing:
1) Genuinely trying to use her new space, freedom, and time to decide whether she wants out or back in 2) She has already decided she is out, but is trying to string this along until May 2008 so she will get her GC before we divorce 3) She has already decided she is out, and is planning a new life with the OM 4) Combo of 2) and 3)
I want to be the bigger man here, irrespective of whether she is having the A and/or planning a new life with this guy. Its incredibly hard because he is an ex she left for me, but I think I can forgive her.
So the question is what I do on Sunday, if she does not demand a divorce herself.
Do I:
1) Tell her I can't tread water, and that if we aren't moving forward then we are moving towards divorce 2) Tell her that while I don't know if she is planning to be with him, I do know they have been communicating frequently and that as a result, she must either agree to stop and take the time she asked for to really figure out what she wants, or she must accept my request for a divorce 3) Tell her nothing - just act 'as if' and see what develops - is she has left me anyway and is abusing me already, the only final damage that can be done is me feeling bietter that she used me to get her GC
And there is the conundrum - she wants to remain friends, and so do I, but if 3) above plays out, I am not sure I could forgive this final deception and I feel that would damage my heart more than she already has.
Any help, advice, experience really appreciated pls.....?
Me - 39 W - 33 M - 5yrs Bomb - 8/5 2007 Moving out - 9/8 2007
