I have tried to explain to her that no one really has the power to make someone else happy. Your children, your spouse, your family, friends, neighbors, they have but a contributory effect on one's happiness -- but ultimately you have to decide to be happy. The keys to our own happiness are in our own hands (I had just misplaced mine for a long time. )
The point is, there is no explaining anything to the WAS. So like ROOT was saying elsewhere, just validate her thoughts and feelings, no matter how crazy they are. Then she can stop looking at you like you are crazy and start having to think for real, stop thinking of justifications. Right now she is justifying, and trying to convince her of anything other then what she is telling you, herself, and anyone else who will listen is of no use. It is all cheeseless tunnels.
) 
