It's not a person that "makes" you happy. Happiness is something you have to find and build in yourself. Relying on someone else for happiness is a big burden, it makes happiness completely conditional. That's very unhealthy.
I couldn't agree more, Root.
I've tried to explain this to the W but she resists the thought. She has said she grew weary trying to do "everything" to make me happy, but I am just too pessimistic, moody and dark a person. She says she tried "everything", beating herself bloody on my "cave", to get me to come out. She says that as my W she should be able to make me happy ... if I really loved her.
Translation: She should have the power over me to be able to control my emotions and my overall mood. So she rationalizes her failure to do so as proof that I had stopped loving her.
At the same time she feels that I did not love her because I did not make her happy in return. (And I would guess that being able to control my behavior is what would bring her the happiness and security she desires in a relationship.)
I have tried to explain to her that no one really has the power to make someone else happy. Your children, your spouse, your family, friends, neighbors, they have but a contributory effect on one's happiness -- but ultimately you have to decide to be happy. The keys to our own happiness are in our own hands (I had just misplaced mine for a long time. )
Ultimately, though, the only one whose hands you can truly trust those keys in is God.
) 
