Stories don't always end

[BeingMe]

Thanks for your thoughts, Cat and Phoenix! I so appreciate it, and respect your advice.

I am generally happy, but do feel I am starting to waste my time. I have done all the things you have suggested, and more. You may recall the letter I sent my H in July, where I outlined how I hoped we will move forward, and that I would give him the space to sort our his job sitch (which is now sorted). I had hoped this letter would give him something to think about, but as usual, the impact of anything I do or say is minimal (that I can see, anyway). I have outlined as precisely as I could, what my needs are to him many times. He won't read anything, doesn't want to go to counselling again, not keen on any online forums that may help, so I am at a loss what to do. As in the past, his MO is to say nothing, no confrontations, no initiating R talks, be somewhat affectionate, continue as if nothing has happened ... and maybe it'll all just fade away. I have let him get away with this for too long. Last year, I asked him to tell me what he thought we could do to strengthen our M, and he came up with us organizing our honeymoon (we never had one). Since then, not a word about it. I want him to initiate something ... anything!!!!

I am reading quite a few books, but will get the one you suggested, Cat, and put it on the pile. As far as male sexuality goes, I did go to a male forum when my H was still in the EA, fullblown. I learned a lot about what men want, and I tried really hard to fulfill the needs my H seemed to want, and he was very happy with the results. But, he won't extend the same courtesy to me. Hence, my being at a loss what to do next. Maybe, if we do separate, it would wake him up one way or another. Perhaps, he will realise what he's going to lose, or he will realise he wants to be free of the M. And, maybe, I will realise the same.

Ultimately, maybe what he is saying without words, is that he doesn't care enough to do anything, so that may be my cue to just end it.