are you guys going to C? seems like other than the contact with the op he's doing all he can. Perhaps a third person will help your H see that your misgivings are valid. Even my H told me "you can tell me all you want about how you feel, but sometimes I just dont' understand unless we have someone (like C) to tell me that".
My H also told me he never dumped someone so that's he's feeling so bad about it, and I did tell him "it's either her feelings or my feelings that get hurt, you choose".
About the A, if you guys are now in a safe place, he should be able to tell you stuff about the A. How much? that part is tricky, somethings are better left unsaid. My C suggested to ask questions that will bring healing.
============ Would it be beneficial to have H read the books? ============= The "not just friends" book has chapters about the problems you are having,read them with him, maybe thenhe'll understand that he ows you some answers and that contact with the op should be cut altogether.
I see more positive signs than negatives in your sitch. On the other hand, look at my sitch: my H will tell (in a letter) ow that it's over, please dont contact me. But... big but, he doesnt' have loving feelings towards me, we sleep separately and don't feel rigth with one another for the time being. I think your M has gone very very far and that this prob can be solved,don't loose heart))))))))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
