Hey Pamar. LOL Didn't mean to scare you. But I really meant it. Its to the point where I am moving on, if he wants to come, all the better. If not, well there is only life in front of me, huh?
Amazing how our spouses can change 'normal' marriage ups and downs into gross mistreatment, neglect and abandonment. Rewriting history.
Agreed, go for it. You're right on the ups and downs. Had another 'discussion' (I refuse to agrue any more) early Sunday morning about something that happened 5 years ago - "me male, memory only work for 2 minutes"!!
I still think its a defense mechanism to vindicate what they are doing and everything is a negative. I am finding that not worrying about it and acting 'as if' works well for me (allowed me to get intimate in the morning )LOL.
Feeling more positive at the moment and looking forward to a holiday in the sun in October, so will continue to fight the good fight until then.
"I still think its a defense mechanism to vindicate what they are doing and everything is a negative."
I totally agree. Plus, OP and our spouses say these things to each other about our marriages, I am sure. What else would they say "My marriage is great, let's have an affair". UGH
You go boy. If "as if" gets you action and makes you happy, so be it.
Sometimes (like today) I feel cold at what the OP has done. To my mind, he picked on a person when they were vunerable and took advantage of that. Any decent human being would say 'I am here for you as a friend, but your marriage is more important and this should be your prime concernt' not 'leave him and have a better life with me (once I have abandoned my family'.
Sorry, in a vent mood today. Nothing really triggered it, but sometimes all the suppressed feelings just bubble to the surface and you want to smack someone very hard!
It's also the W's birthday on Sunday and I have bought a card, telling her how much I love her (maybe not good DB, but its what I want to do). Also bought her sexy underwear and sleepwear, so it'll either backfire spectaculary or she will be appreciative.
She had a little grump at me last night and I apologised and she was down this morning (more likely about work). She is doing a long day today and won't be home till after 10.00, so I will deal exclusively with the children.
Sometime the 'as if's' threaten to turn into aaaaghs.
And I agree, H and OW protest that they are 'friends'. A friend wouldn't approach another friend and say "Oh yeah, heard your marriage sucks, wanna have sex?".
He's in a hole at the moment, trying to be human and failing miserably. W really went to town on me last night, 'don't like you', 'don't like your smell (WTH)' etc.
Maybe some positives, no talk about either of us moving out, just that intimacy was wrong (W said it was easier to say 'Yes'). Made me feel really big for asking!!!
The other thing she said was that I had manipulated her for the last 20 years and her A was minor compared to that (did not respond - really, really wanted to).
So, basically this morning we got up, sorted the kids out and I took the rubbish (trash) up to the top of the drive. She is busy getting ready for work and I walked past (assuming she didn't want me near her) and I get into trouble for not saying goodbye!
New tactic - friendly and no asking for sex. No cuddling up in bed and see where that takes us. Hopefully the change in tac will allow her the time to sort her own head out - she is using things that happened 20 years ago and hitting me with it.
As you can see, the roller-coaster is firmly down in a dip and I feel that nothing has changed over the last 6 months, only that she is hating me more and more every day. Seems to now be blaming me for her whole life.
We missed you here! I'm sorry that things are on the downhill side of the coaster right now. Hey, I'd still take the fact that she wanted you to say good-bye as a good thing. She still wants some contact from you. Maybe that's just me reaching, but it's my way of seeing some positive in it.
The blaming you for everything......Ha! Here's one for you....Yeah, my H & I had talked about me getting on a different form of birth control because I'd had problems with most of the types that I'd tried. I just started a new one within the last month & have been having some issues too, which prevent sex. I had to deny H yesterday & this morning (even though we'd had sex a few days ago). This morning he rolled over and huffed. I said....honey, just because we can't do that doesn't mean you can't still touch me. Guess I control nature too!!
Hey, I need to run. You take care. We're rooting for you all the way across the pond!
Check in soon!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
But I really meant it. Its to the point where I am moving on, if he wants to come, all the better. If not, well there is only life in front of me, huh? 