So to answer your question on why you should take off your feminist glasses - to better understand the needs of your H and help to make him happy.
The irony of course is that my own H probably wears those feminist glasses more than I do. So this is really not a male/female issue. Regarding your 4 main points, I think my H was not happy that my primary purpose was the relationship. He wanted me to have my own primary purpose, career, interests, etc. And I learned that I did as well. I am happier now than I was pre-separation. So the problem I have with "the list" is that it puts women in a subjugated position. I know you will deny that but that is how I interpret your beliefs. When you show lack of interest for your W's purpose (which may be her work, not sure), you are disrespecting her as a woman and wife. Your interests are NOT superior to her interests. Why should they be? Because you are the man? It seems to me you will continue to have a problem with your M (building intimacy, etc) until you change your own glasses.
