vacation is over, I am leaving

[stewart10]

I asked H how he was feeling about the upcoming weekend and he said he was feeling good....so good thing!

Very good thing. I would give just about anything to have my W "seem" as willing to make the M work. I say "seem" because I don't know that your H is 100% committed but at least he is giving you every reason to believe he is. If I asked my W to do Retro right now she probably would laugh in my face. She keeps telling me that we are holding onto something that isn't there anymore.

But good luck this weekend. Don't put too much pressure on it to fix everything. It isn't going to. And I have heard that the weeks following the weekend are just as important to improving things as the weekend itself. It is going to take time to work but going is the first step.

Stew

[limbo]

Stew...thanks for checking in!

The key word is seems, its so hard to truly believe this is a real effort, I have put that belief in him before and it has turned out to be untrue, he makes the effort for awhile, and then bam.
That is why it is a struggle for me this time, because i feel it is going to happen, but don't know when, and I think especially after going on this weekend if it does happen it will be even more devastating, because of the big effort that has been made.
I could deal with it, if he comes to me and say you know its just not happening, I have tried and I just don't feel the same way I think we are done, but if he goes back to ow and does tell me, that will be pure evil, thats how I think it would be.

I am sorry if I am babbling and not making sense, s7 was up at 4:30am with being scared, and pretty much didn't go back to sleep!!

[limbo]

I just wanted to post about convo I had with H on phone, he couldn't find his keys, so I was checking to make sure he found them.
At the end of the convo I said, well I will let you go, he said, don't do that, I don't want you to do that, I thought this was for life!!! he said it joking around! but it was still nice that he said it!
Made me feel more positive about going into Retro tomorrow!

[Heimlich]

Limbo,

There aren't any guarantees that it's going to work, but your H does seem to be making a solid effort. Please don't sabotage it by thinking negative thoughts. I'm don't believe in that "Secret" garbage of you attract what you think or whatever the hell it is, but there is power in positive thinking.

Plus, even if it doesn't work -- a big if -- you'll be albe to llok at yourself 10, 20 years from now and know deep in your heart that you did the best you could do.

One more day!

BD

[limbo]

That is where I think I am at, I know i will have done everything I could to make this work, and at this point if it doesn't work I am now prepared to let it go.

[limbo]

Well tonight is the night!! I am terrified and excited at the same time!!!!
H seems to be really trying right now, so we are going into this with the right attitude, I just worry that it will be to much for him when we get there and it wount work!

[limbo]

I am sitting here, haven't heard from H yet, always do by this time, thinking I know what he is doing, he's packing and is going to run! I know its unreasonable...but can't help it! am trying!!

[Heimlich]

Limbo,

Deep, calming breaths. Best of luck this weekend.

BD

[limbo]

Thanks Heim!! I am trying!!

[limbo]

H went to see Dr today to get AD refilled, however dr thinks its time to drop the dosage! Which in its self scares me to death...but H wanted to start tomorrow, while we are at the retro weekend!!
I managed to get him to wait until Monday, he has been on a fairly high dose of a medication that I have read is absolutley horrible to come off! He agreed, I just hope he listens!! I don't need to be dealing with this, this weekend!