Cold differentiation, fusion and stuff.

[Kettricken]

I really don't see how listening to your wife talk on and on a bit about what she wants to talk about equates to "catering to or indulging" her.

Seems like the point of meetings someone's needs/wants is to meet *their* needs/wants .... if you are primarily interested in giving to them your choice of what you think they should want or what it feels most fulfilling to you to give .... that's still all about you, and in a selfish way.

I mean, I get that a man shouldn't spend all his time worried about placating his wife to the detriment of the rest of his life -- absolutely! I just don't see how it's any skin off your nose to listen more if she gets something out of it. It just sounds a little power-struggley (yeah, I know) to me.

Unless of course it's totally one-sided and she only wants to talk and not listen to/discuss what interests *you* (as I believe you may have implied above). In that case, the power-struggley part makes a lot more sense and the resentment is understandable.

But in that case I would perceive that as a Cobra/wife dynamic ... it has little to do with the masculine/feminine. IMHO.