Nah... Well, maybe a shrubbery... of genus epiphany.
I have been thinking a lot about the lessons I learned on forgiveness in reading the Bible and in these support group sessions -- I have been taking a lot of the messages to heart and have been ruminating on how this applies to DB'ing and GAL'ing.
I just find a lot of time now of days to reflect on things, especially while pumping iron and doing other activities in my solitude, away from my family. I guess that would be a plus in the separation. Before the wakening and the bomb, I just did not give myself enough time to gather my wits and really search my soul -- I rarely had the time available. Now I have no choice.
And now that I have had success at keeping the depression at bay, the contrast is startling. It is as if I was deaf and blind and suddenly could see again -- and I have so much more clarity than when I was lost in the fog. Mind you, that is a curse as well as a blessing sometimes.
Mostly though, I realize how close I was to to never coming out of the coma, to losing everything, including my very soul. I realize that I want to live, and that truly living does not mean living just for now, but for eternity. And it has to start with this life and turning it over to God.
You see, GAL should be for heart, mind, body and soul.
Also, I have this faith now that tells me that even if I cannot save my W and my marriage, should W never give me the chance to prove my truth and veracity in this life and our paths continue down separate ways, then should the both of us be fortunate enough to meet again in the hereafter, she will then truly know my heart was indeed for real.
Whatever happens, I intend to continue to grow spiritually to the end of my days, regardless of the outcome. This is for my family as much as it is for me.
