Actually, I went to a Yoga/Pilates class. I think the ice cream sounded better, though.
I cannot explain how I feel after your simple explanations of what I was doing FINALLY sunk in. I have so many emotions. I am happy that I finally "get" it, yet sad that it took so long. I am hopeful that I will continue to communicate better. I also feel guilty because my H tried to tell me many of the same things but I just wasn't understanding. So, you see, I have a lot going on in this head!
I am seeing that I have had one goal in mind for so long (saving the marriage) that I didn't even stop to think what that would look like. I can see that him asking to come back isn't it. Communicating better would be the first step. I just wanted to jump over that all of this time. I guess I thought that I needed to get a committment to save the marriage first, then I would work on the communication. Ugh. No wonder I have been spinning for so long. No wonder he is so frustrated with me.
I do see, also, that I wasn't getting this whole detaching thing. It felt very unnatural to me, yet I was doing it anyway. It wasn't that I was doing it for a reaction from him, which would be totally wrong, but I was partially wrong in that I was doing it instead of continuing to try other methods.
Anyway, I set up a new email account if you would like to email me. It is: DB_CMNM at yahoo.com I understand about not wanting to put some things out there. I still feel that way, a lot. I think that I am as open as I am now just because I knew that something had to give.
Thanks again for taking an interest in my story. I feel very blessed right now that there are people out there willing to help me through this. (That means you, too, IMP!)
