Cold differentiation, fusion and stuff.

[Burgbud]

(Cobra) Go read Dieda. The worst thing a man can do is to compromise himself, his purpose, his values, in order to please a woman. The man and his objectives come first. Then woman comes second, but in this way, the man can give the woman the maximum of what she really wants. Putting the woman first and the man’s objective second will actually diminish returns for the woman and make her unhappy.

Not "The man and his objectives come first. Then woman comes second...". Deida says a man's purpose always comes first. He doesn't say the man's wants and desires come next and then his woman, which that part of your statement implies. Deida also says you don't leave your woman to deal with her emotional issues alone. He says if you do that, what does she need you for?

Deida has no problem with a man's attending to a woman's wants or needs *UNLESS* that interferes with his purpose. If listening to your wife talk for more than half an hour is interfering with your purpose, then Deida would agree that you oughtn't do that. If it's just interfering with something else you'd rather be doing, though, Deida isn't offering you any support.

(Kett) Cobra, seriously .... how can you propose the model that a man's primary purpose should be making his mark on the world by whatever means suit him best while a woman's primary purpose should be supporting and encouraging him in that endeavor with focus on their relationship...

Deida doesn't propose what a man's primary purpose *should* be or what a woman's primary purpose *should* be. Deida describes what he sees. He speaks in terms of masculine polarity, feminine polarityand netrual polarity. To make his writing easier to read he generally refers to a person with "masculine polarity" as a man and a person with "feminine polarity" as a woman though he caveats that up front by saying that a man can have feminine polarity, a woman can have masculine polarity, and either can have neutral polarity.

He doesn't necessarily say that a woman's primary purpose should be her relationship. He says that within the relationship, the woman (or the one with feminine polarity) needs to be the primary caretaker of the relationship. Otherwise the polarity shifts to being more neutral and the sexual tension diminishes.

I've yet to come across a woman who really took umbrage with Deida's views (as espoused in The Way of the Superior Man). If you're interested, you'd be best served by reading or skimming it yourself. If you take your understanding of Deida via Cobra's interpretation, you deserve what you get.


(Cobra) I'm also beginning to develop suspicions why your H left you.

I'm beginning to develop suspicions why your wife has been reluctant to have sex with you.