Cobra I think you should re-read Dedia without your " Protestant work ethic mind " the four points that you take away from Deida are not what I took away in the least.
1. The man’s primary purpose is pursuit of his main objective, be that career, a hobby, the arts, whatever.
I don't recall a mans main objective mentioned just that he must be aligned with his purpose and the purpose is beyond the relationship.
2. The woman is the inspiration for the man’s primary purpose.
If a man purpose was truly to come first why would he need this inspiration from the female.
3. The man’s responsibility is to share gifts with his woman that he achieves through pursuit of his primary purpose.
His responsibility is to gift her not with presents but with presence.
4. The woman’s primary purpose is the relationship.
I can see how your POV would lead you to see this, I think it would be more along the lines of surrendering into the fullness of love.
I really think that you have your own glasses on when you read Deida. Take a look at some of the videos that are online of him speaking see if you can catch the kind of tone he speaks with and what he is concerned with.
