To ease things up between H and I...I held my questions for a LONG time...after he was back and things were going better I did start to ask..."closure for me" questions...because in the beginning I did like you...wanted answers...but then realized I had waited a long time to have him "consider" trying to love me again...and coming home, committed to make things work....that my answers...well I could wait...after all I was the "sane one"...I think!
So just back off...hold the questions for when you are both strong and can talk about things with less emotion and more learning...believe this will go along way for H forgiving himself...guilt is really hard on a person...even though they brought it on themself and they deserve every bit of it...it is still hard and not something I would have wished on him...
Take care...Lin...now on the other side and starting to forget the details of THOSE years...looking to the future!
