Yeah, or something. Any of you want to change your answers about me dating??? Just kidding.
I'm doing ok CVA. I think over the last three or four weeks (since my trip to Disney), several things happened. I continued to detach and try to focus on me (and my kids), and to put W and the sitch out of my mind, while being friendly. That was good. Second, after discussing it with my IC, we decided it might be productive in a future JC session for me see if W would engage in the IMAGO dialogue while exploring why I come across as "hostile" to W at times (her chief complaint the last 4 months, and a long-standing complaint since the initial bomb). So, in preparation for that, I spent a lot of time thinking about what I was feeling anger, bitterness and resentment towards W. The list is long, and you can all imagine whay and relate to it I am sure. The unintended byproduct of this was I actually began to feel more angry, bitter, resentful, etc., and this was manifesting itself more than in the past when I had successfully put things on the back burner. All of this was NOT good. Third, while removing myself from these boards over the past few weeks, reading less, journaling less, etc. (eg, taking a break from such active DBing) was good for my detachment was probably very good for me and my sanity, it did cause me to lose sight of many critical and valuable DB principles (like, the 48-hour rule, the no R talk rule, the put your needs away for now rule, and more), and this was NOT good. Those three things came to a point of congruence Monday afternoon and evening, when we had two phone R talks. Overall, probably not good for my sitch and chances. Some good things may come from it, but overall damage done. But, probably not determinative . . . so have to pick myself up, dust myself off, learn from it, and get back to work.
Nomo
PS - Guess I need to copy this to my thread.
M 39 W 39 M'd 10 yrs; T 14 yrs S7 D4 Bomb 5-8-05 W not working on M 1-22-07; EA 2-22 DB 4-10 S 6-11 No more C Link
That is the way that my H treated me like I was some blow-up sex doll. Bring her out of the closet just to have sex with her then put her away when you are done. He only touched me, talked to me, showed any sort of affection is when he wanted sex. Other than that, I never saw him at all. He was the typical, wham, bam thank you maam except for us being married. He always just wanted to go directly for the dessert instead of going thru the other courses of the meal. Tell me again, why I would even want this back???????
Me: 41 H: 39 D: 6 S: 4 M-14 T-16 first bomb: 5-12-07 (M dead doesn't really want to work things out.) second bomb: 6-4-2007 (found note he wrote about wanting desperately to be with OW and would have to give up everything) Kelley
Damn, Nomo, maybe we could pass out a collection plate and buy you a lap dance or three from one of the fine local establishments that you mentioned. Just joking. Kind of.
Tell you what, if your W doesn't at least admit that you're doing what you're doing out of love for her as a person and not as a way to get in her pants then she needs to have her head examined.
Kelley, I don't know that I'll ever be able to see your posts and not think of blow up sex doll now.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
Kelley, I don't know that I'll ever be able to see your posts and not think of blow up sex doll now.
BD
ROFLMAO,
Yup that's me just pull out the old tire pump.
Me: 41 H: 39 D: 6 S: 4 M-14 T-16 first bomb: 5-12-07 (M dead doesn't really want to work things out.) second bomb: 6-4-2007 (found note he wrote about wanting desperately to be with OW and would have to give up everything) Kelley
This is the best post ever!!! I wonder how horny is my W. Seems like 90 days is approaching very fast to me and strip clubs dont cut it for me either.
kelley, the push up bra thing, if I ever met you and been with you, I would wake up and say to myself, man that was some drink I had lastnight, she had biggums and now flatums...LOL sorry kelley.
Houston has the world's most strip clubs - thats a fact.
See the W, Listen to the W, but dont Speak back to the W. Bridle your tongue...
CVA, this new thread of yours is something else, I got to say, it's been sooo long without the W, but not sooo long in general, lost my head, LOL, figure of speech, in the beginning. But now, my appetite is something fierce, as well.
It's funny at the first of the M, you are like rabbits, can't get enough of it, then things slow down, in my case W, slowed down, and I adjusted, became kind of routine, then came the fights, and the make-up sex, and Man, that was the stuff! it sure made all the fighting worth it! and on that note, we have been fighting for 7 or 8 months, now, so if/when there is make up sex, we might just die! with one heck of a smile on our faces, LOL! Take care.
Any of you want to change your answers about me dating??? Just kidding.
