Frustrated and More Saddened #3

[stewart10]

Hey Heim:

Yeah, I suppose my W is where your's was in April. I told her today that things can get better between us. She said that she did not see that happening and that things aren't better between us. I told her that if someone had said to her the day we got married that her feelings could change that she would have thought they were crazy. I told her things change and feelings change and that they can just as easily change back. I probably said too much about us not spending enough time together contributing to our issues, but felt like I had to get that out.

I think she is packing some of her bags now. She has work tonight so I think she is really leaving for good today. I didn't hear "for awhile" even though I really wish that I did. I am going to have a tough few days and weeks ahead. I would usually lean on my father on a day like today but lucky him he is docking in Nice, France today. He probably could use a break from my problems so I am glad for him. Also learned today that a very good family friend of ours had a stroke and is on life support at the hospital. And this on top of my older sister having a miscarriage on Friday, me losing my job last week and possibly my marriage. 2007 has not been a great year so far.

She's been begging for space. Give it to her.

I don't have any other choice right now. I told her back in the beginning of July that if she needed to move out that she should do it. She was back the next day. I took that to mean she didn't know what she wanted. Apparently she just felt guilty about doing it. I wish that when she walks out of the bedroom that she would only have her purse in hand, but that is not going to be the case. So the separation begins today. I just feel such a deep love and admiration for her that I could not imagine my feelings for her changing no matter what she had done to me in the past. I don't see how this could have happened. She is right, this is just like a big giant nightmare. I am praying so hard to wake up.