I feel as if I have become stronger in the last 2 weeks and no longer have the same fear about him moving out. =================== You are on the right path there, as hard as it would be, picture yourself with him gone, how would you handle things? make a plan, that way you wont' feel as lost and helpless.
I always, always discourage mind games, sarcasm, any kind of manipulation to get a reaction out of spouses. We must be true to ourselves, be ourselves and mean what we say and not try to get yank our S's chain to make them respond the way we want them to.
About being intimate, that's a tough issue, it took my H a while before he was able to initiate and mean it, not just to humor me. I wonder if your H is depressed, that's the other reason SL suffer, I see he has irregular working and sleeping schedules, that affects SL a lot, and maybe he feels selfcouncious about taking viagra or going to a dr about it.
========== Just a bit cross that I also seem to have to clear up after him, dirty plates, sock etc. I work full time as well..... ========== that'd be you, me and my 2 older sisters In the past I would've mumble or complain loudly to him while washing dishes or harrasing him about his socks in the stairs. They are grown men now, and no amount of nagging will make things better, only the opposite. I often have to remind my H about the pile of dishes on the sink. He starts washing when I come home because just then he remembered, but... he does them! because I made it so when I remind him I do it gently "hon, dont' forget the dishes ok?" not "you didnt' do the dishes again? do I have to do it all?"
It's a lost battle, socks and dishes, most men wont' do it out of the goodness of their hearts, we must work on getting things done while using gentle words. When my H attempts to put his sweaty shirt on the kitchen chair I dont's screach anymore "are you crazy? that's disgusting!" I tell him "you can put that in the white laundry basket in our room" and he does not mind and does it.
Yea, I got rejected plenty of times, but remember that pressure will accomplish the total opposite of what you want.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
In the past I would've mumble or complain loudly to him while washing dishes or harrasing him about his socks in the stairs. They are grown men now, and no amount of nagging will make things better, only the opposite. I often have to remind my H about the pile of dishes on the sink. He starts washing when I come home because just then he remembered, but... he does them! because I made it so when I remind him I do it gently "hon, dont' forget the dishes ok?" not "you didnt' do the dishes again? do I have to do it all?" 