Responding to your earlier post, I also found myself following H around in the house. H got annoyed and mentioned that I am always following him around. After he told me, I tried to give him "cave time", trying to do other things in the house when he is home.
The books always say the contact needs to be cut cleanly, with no dangling threads, always with a firm letter or email, etc. But I wonder how many can really do that? I know my H is not willing to do that. Contact is still there, and from all the info I am given from H, he is just hoping she will eventually realize that he won't be there for her (despite him telling her so), and she will move on quietly. Like campfire slowly dying out. For me, that is not a "clean cut". She will never know that she is not supposed to contact him again. She may resurface in a year or two, when she is at some low point, or whatever and ask him for comfort and A may start again (though unlikely since they are now miles apart, but still). At the same time, H already told me he cannot do the "clean cut" thing.
I wonder if your H is doing the same thing. Will that be OK with you for the A just slowly dies that way? Is he willing to send a "termination" letter to end it? Not sure if this is the right time to ask since you are still at the beginning of piecing.
And yes, those feelings of lows are so normal. But I do have happy feelings. When I am able to just get back to DB mode, being in the same "fighting mode" when I started DBing at the first discovery of A. Remember those times? I ignored what he is doing (the outings, the phone calls) and just act as if. When I can do that, and treat H like my lover (or friend), H responds positively and we always have a good time.
