back to square -1 or -10000

[cat03]

Oh Kel, thanks so much for your post, it's like looking into the future and know that
it will be ok, that my H won't be on edge forever like he is now, when I'm safe and healed and .. maybe happy at some point!

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his motivation was to protect her feelings, most of it was trying to avoid having to look himself in the mirror and admit he used her and made a horrible mess out of a whole lot of people's lives.
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how many times my H has said this, guilt is eating alive, he has been telling her "I need time, let's not talk for a while" for about 2wks or so. Even at work people can tell there is something very wrong with him.

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and is terrified that the other shoe will fall and you'll give up on him. He is terrified that you will throw this in his face forever
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Kel, you might've as well be on the same room when talked, he is just afraid this will never go away and that I will make him pay for this because right now I ask questions here and there. I'm working hard at remembering what he HAS done to do things right, im getting out of the habit of rehashing his mistakes.

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But try, just for now, not to argue about the discrepencies in his stories.
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You are right, i've been doing that a lot, using a fine tooth comb... for what? it helps me none but to make him feel hounded.

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He'll stop lying when he feels safe to tell the truth.
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And I have to remember and stamp on my forehead that I need to be a safe place, not the wench to fear :P

You DO know what you are talking about. As they say in the movies, I'm too close to the sitch to be objective, my emotions are jerking me around, asking for what he can't give me now but wants to in the future. Thanks for dissipating the fog that is blinding me right now -- and again, i'm very very happy for you and glad you posted your story to give us all more hope, hugs))))))))))))))