When to move back in together?

[the girl]

Hey everyone,
Thanks for sending me a lifeline when I really needed it. You all have so much compassion and wisdom to share.

After my horrible morning, I received an email from him: "Glad we are working things out. Would you like to meet me in the park with the girls for dinner? Have a great day!"
It was nice to receive that from him, and the rollercoaster continued, with me feeling better. It is hard when I feel like my emotions are hooked to his actions. I need to really work on that.

I also spent some time reading DR and strategizing using Michele's advice. Especially the parts about when the H won't cut off ties to the OP. I have been doing LRT, with great success, but I realize that I already have stepped into the 'after the LRT' when I told him this is his last chance to make good, and if I catch him again it is over. She says I have to follow through in order to maintain credibility, so I guess that's what I will have to do.

I have to admit that while I am enjoying his renewed commitment to us (he has already lined up a housecleaner every other week to help me, and we are chit chatting about what color to paint the bathroom), about 75% of me knows that he will return to contact with the OW.

So here is my dilemma, and I will take all the advice I can get. Here are my options:

A) completely refrain from any kind of snooping, even when he starts being nasty to me. I can stick my head in the sand and just wait for him to slowly recommit to us, or file for divorce when he decides to give up. This is choosing to ignore the OW and basically taking on the state of amnesia. "OW? What's that? What would you like for dinner, honey?"

B) Strive for the state of amnesia as far as our everyday life, but snooping in order to see just how much contact is going on with OW. When it is an unacceptable amount, I can then call him on it and tell him to get out. I still can wait for him to file.
This is the option I seem to be operating in right now, as I have both options.

C) Knowingly live with his contacting the OW and not follow through with my last chance threat. I will feel like a complete doormat, I will cry a lot and smoke packs of cigarettes...

D) Tell him he can't move in until he can make a solid show of proof that it is over. This is the option that all of my friends and pastor want me to do. When I tried to set this boundary last week, he flat out refused, saying that he isn't going to make any promises. He tells me I have to accept his good behavior.

Tonight we go on a date. I have been trying to come up with interesting topics beforehand, so I don't sit there blabbering like an idiot. I feel like telling him that I believe in him and want him to be the best man he can be, that I want him to live a life that is satisfying and free of shame. Which is true.

I believe deeply in redemption.

The Girl