I can completely empthaize with your sitch and I wish you sucess. I have taken this stance right, wrong or otherwise. I left, I came back, I shattered the security, the trust and left my vows at the table.
It is up to the WAS to earn that trust back, by showing honesity, sincerity, and patience. They may want us back, they may not. I believe it is up to the WAS to show the love and earn the respect and trust back. I made many mistakes, please learn from mine.
I came back and expected my W. to be on board right away. My W. found someone else to share her feelings with it wasn't me. It bothered me, it hurt. After about a week of self pity, I remembered how much I hurt her. Now I feel remorse and sadness for what I have done and what it may do to our future. I am not a doormat, I am not treated like one. My W. is not capabale of treating anyone like a doormat, no matter what they did.
I don't have a timetable, I don't pressure any decisions, I let her call the shots. Will I wait forever, I don't know. But she deserves time to figure it out. Your H. I suspect is not perfect, you guys had issues, but he did not check out on the marriage as far as I read. Give him time, pressuring will delay the process. He waffles because he wants to believe your words. But he is more interested in your actions. What have you done, not said, to show you are recommitted to your M.
More importantly what can you do, to show it. It may get results, it may not, either way if you don't show it, you probably won't get to where you need to be. By the way the LBS becomes the WAS when this happens, you have reversed roles. I don't know what he did when you left, but whatever he did it did not matter because you still left.
It is hard and it makes us crazy at times, but you messed it up, it is your job to start fixing it. Use this as motivation, don't let his lack of interest or indecision put you right back where you just came from. YOU have to hold the torch until he says I don't want it or lets hold it together.
My prayers and thoughts are with you.
Last edited by thegoodfight; 09/12/0704:25 PM.
Married:10 years D final 8/28/08 10 minutes is all it took Life goes on and DB was no small part in growing from the Divorce!
