Well, I am probably asking something that is not the norm. I have seen some on here talk about emailing. I kind of wanted to talk to you privately and was wondering if you had an email you shared with anyone on here or not. Anyway, it won't hurt my feelings if you had rather not. Maybe I don't know where to look....just seen where some do that.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Hi LIN! How are you? Did you go to Greece? Or are the plans still there?
I wanted to ask you advice about my sitch. The last time I posted he wanted to live in our downstairs appartment. After he returned from Other country he was distant and cold and I felt OW had pulled him back. He stared saying he did not know if he was able to live there financially etc. Backing out. The day before yesterday he picked up his phone when he was here and talked in a room next to where we were. The doors were all open and I feel he and OW broke up!! I've been praying hedge of thorns a few times each day!
Anyway he has been coming by quite a lot and seems depressed, even said so. I let him come by when he wants to but I still do not start talks. Should I? Today he mentioned he will always be closeby to Ds. I remember you had the same when your DH broke up with OW he did not come back but moved right? Just not very sure how to proceed... Siince he has tried a different type of work and just returned he is also down about going back to work in his old field and searching for what he wants to do. It just feels a bit awkward for me to be fun and loving but not talking about this stuff. I feel like I need to try and build an emotionalrelationship with him. Or should I back off??
sounds so familiar...my H pretty much did what yours is doing...my H stayed away probably about a year or so after he and OW broke up...but it was DS that he used as a reason to move closer to us...
He also was having work issues, depression, and some other issues...I did become his friend...was there when he would let me be...and when the opportunity would come up I started building that emotional relationship with him...soon we were "dating" and eventually I asked...."Do you ever think about us?"...he admitted that he did but he was scared...I gave him time...just kept myself in the vision....
Haven't gotten to Greece yet....we are working on the plans and looking for the best deal to present itself...
I hope this helps you....
Truelove...
Yes things are going good...
I love the heat too...that is why I live in Southern California but when there is no breeze, it is 110 degrees in the bus I drive, 125 degrees on the blacktop areas that I have around me...then it is not fun...it would cool down to 90 at night!!!
It was absolutely miserable...it was cooler today...at least I didn't get sick while working as I had been...no matter how much I drank I was thirsty...it was bad bad bad...even the cats quit eating!
Take care and hope things are going well for you....and that YOU are doing good...
Imlin, Thanks! Right now I feel OW is clawing her way back in. Of course I'm assuming but I feel that she dumped him for attention and he said he still had feelings for her but could not trust her. I'm assuming because I have this uneasy feeling again and when they broke up he called me everyday and came by more then ever plus he did what he said he would do. (FI coming on time and coming around when he said he would he even commented on it himself...)Now he's detached again and angry towards me. Trying to pick fights.
Yesterday he asked for the name of our realtor and said he also wanted to look at other apartments. I was shocked because I had given up on him living in the downstairs apartment plus he told me he was scared he could not afford paying for an apartment. (right now he lives above his office)but seems to have finances now... I'm angry because he promised DS he would live in our apartment and the little one is really looking forward to it
Anyway, thanks for your advice. I felt like running with DS and not looking back. Your sentence "I just kept myself in the vision" made me not want to run and stick it out for a while.
In hindsight did your DH tell you he wanted to be close to DS to see you aswell? I recently asked DH if he missed me and he said it was funny I should ask because he asked it himself the day before. He said that he felt very unsettled when he returned from other country and picked up DS without seeing me or being inside the house. He felt strange. But then again he said I will always be the most important woman in his life due to DS but there is no hope for our R. Imlin thank you! I will work on the ER.
My H has not said that he wanted to see me as well when he wanted to be close for DS....and H said he never missed me...that he needed to be away from me...this still hurts to hear but I have to accept that they were his feelings and I can't change that...and to some extent perhaps he can't either...
Capitolize on being the most important woman in his life...even if it is because of DS...he is in a confused state...he is looking for an anchor...if he can't trust OW then that will all be temporary...do what you can to help him trust you...this puts you in good light then...
I have to accept that they were his feelings ...and to some extent perhaps he can't either... ============= Thanks for posting this, this is very hard for me since I see things cut and dry "if this is like this then you SHOULD feel like such and such"
================= .I did become his friend...was there when he would let me be...and when the opportunity would come up I started building that emotional relationship with him...soon we were "dating" and eventually I asked...."Do you ever think about us?"...he admitted that he did but he was scared...I gave him time...just kept myself in the vision.... ============ thanks again friend, for this wisdom.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
I love the heat too...that is why I live in Southern California but when there is no breeze, it is 110 degrees in the bus I drive, 125 degrees on the blacktop areas that I have around me...then it is not fun...it would cool down to 90 at night!!!
I hope that it has cooled down a bit in the meantime, and that things are still fine for you.
My sitch seems to have finally turned into a better direction. H wants to give US a second chance! So I am very happy about that, but will take it very slowly.
Thanks for your support and encouragement throughout all this time. Take care.
hope all is well