Do you still think there is a chance she is lurking here?
Because if she is, she is continuing to play a game and not meeting you halfway nor taking any responsibility for her half in resolving this issue.

That wouldnt make me feel apologetic.
Quit dancing around the issue. Put it on the table and smear it around.

but if there's no chance of intimacy and closeness on our fricking anniversary night

Did you have any of this thruout the day, or is this a euphemism for sex?