Your W has upped the affection, did you think she was going to initiate sex also? At any point did you say something along the lines of, 'head upstairs and get ready, Im making love to my W tonight'. or was the night just fraught with underlying tension and uncomfortableness? So... it was our wedding anniversary yesterday and we had the kids in bed on time, nice meal, chocolates, champagne, blah, blah... Did you have expectation and assumption because of this? A covert contract I think Glover calls it? The long lead in and excessive foreplay freaks them out. Its too much pressure. Its too much thinking.
Do you know how uncomfortable she is? Im not saying to excuse her because of that. But the impetus has to come from somewhere. Especially since it has been so long. Her head is not anywhere near the same place as yours.
Have you had the talk about going to counseling? Have you expressed your boundary clearly. A clear boundary has no retailiation in it. Its about you, not her.
