I completely understand what you're saying. I don't know why this is, cobra, and I've given this a lot of thought over the years.
One of my theories is that we have defenses, emotional barriers, to protect us internally from absorbing too much horror directed at people. Because we ARE people, when we read or hear of violence, torture, etc., against humans, even children, those blocks go up that prevent us from comprehending that these are humans just like us. Kind of like the volume control on some devices, where the volume can only go up so high and then it is blocked. Or on my shower there was a "governor" so that the water could not get too hot. Does this make any sense?
With animal abuse, the anecdote, photo, details, etc., sort of slip in under our defenses. It's like the arrow is shot and finds its mark before we can put up the shields. We identify with the helplessness of the animal before we can stop ourselves.
I don't have it figured out, but I have wondered about this.
I have been following Cobra's and GGB's workshop thread but lost my motivation to work on my thread.
GGB said looking at someone and smiling was resulting in OP smiling at him. I found this to be true. Most people don't notice me and I assume they are preoccupied with their own internal talk. A few people to notice me.
I was in line for lunch and the service was about the slowest I ever experienced. I smiled at a lady about 10 years younger and made a comment "I guess they are short handed today" and “the employees that are here are really working hard.”
It was a friendly chit chat. Nothing negative about the slow service was said. She worked for an oil company and had a book to read. I said that might be a good idea, considering the area is experiencing a 98% employment rate and almost any kind of help is difficult to find.
Conclusion: There are a lot of good, friendly, and interesting people around. If I show interest in them they will return the courtesy. Maybe other people are showing interest in me if I were more aware of the clues.
Who am I ( a question Corri and Cobra are exploring) is another animal. I thought I had some good ideas but trying on the concepts hasn't made me feel any more authentic.
Sometimes I feel like I fit in among my friends and family, then something comes up or comes up again, and I feel like I am invisible, don't carry any weight/influence, and don't really have a good grasp on the situation, even after reading the supposed operator manuals.
When I act or start to act like my authentic self, that seems to clash with other people’s actions, mostly with BB's.
One real and ongoing problem is I have too many open loops/unfinished projects/activities.
The biggest open-loop is my business. I have too much stuff even after getting rid of quite a few things. I have lots of good things but printer models are changing so what I have is falling out of favor and becoming low turnover items.
Perfectly good printers but because they are several years old, people are overly captious about buying or repairing some items just because they think age is a major factor, the most important factor in determining serviceability and application usage.
I even have people giving me good used printers and saying the printer is X years old and it will probably quit soon, which isn't even slightly true. Another thing I hear is they had money in the budget, so replaced the printer/copier. A couple of offices said if they didn’t spend the money in the budget this year, that amount world be deducted from next year’s budget. I.E. Spend more this year so they get more next year.
Part of my work on me is feeling more comfortable throwing good things away and not react to wastefulness.
In terms of relationships, I also see value in some R's that sort of function, or function to a degree most of the time.
So one of my global problems is when and how to give up or upgrade w/o feeling I am trashing something that still has some value.
I can see/mental reasoning, that I have to give up something old or make major remodeling attempts, to do something new. I also understand it helps to have a new goal, so changing the old ways/things becomes easier to accomplish.
Sex with BB? Well I was working on that. i was going to do a little of what I wanted to do and like. I had things sort of set up. The air was smoky so BB took an allergy medication, got sleepy, and went to bed early. The meds also dry her out internally. Sex with a partner that seems reluctant and sleepy? Well not tonight. Not my idea of ML or sex for that matter. I can do it because it needs to be done. I can do it if it would benefit both of us some way. I can do it if it would build something between us. I don't see much of those things happening if I did it tonight.
Obstacle #2 closr relative talking about D, men are pigs, etc...
Almost forgot. This thread is not about someone else.
Lil I was wondering when was the last time she did something spontaneously to let you know she LOVES you-- something that was not in direct response to your completing a chore, buying her something, doing her a favor. BB states she has too much anxiety caused by my business stuff at home to show anything demonstrative.
I suspect if I were really sick, she would do something.
