I think that kind of might go along with the whole 'putting people in a box' thing, though, that I was talking through with Cobra... I think when we put a frame of OUR version of Corri, or Chrome, or Cobra, or whomever... that frame will always color how we perceive that person.
Now. Last night I was so angry, if I had had superhuman powers, laser beams would have shot from eyes and incinerated the man sitting across the dinner table from me (my bf was sitting next to me, so no, it wasn't him). Now THAT was angry.
So if I think of that 'angry' and anything that I have felt recently here while posting... I will say, no definitely not.
Are you referring to my posts on HD's thread? Or what is it that you are thinking of when you ask me that?
Thanks for the explanation. You're right I probably did a bit of projection there. I guess when I see someone saying "this may come across mean, but I don't mean it that way" several times, I get suspicious. But (as you like to say) that is MY PROBLEM.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Corri, Just bumping this back up. I'm still trying to sort myself out here. About all I've been able to establish so far is that I seem to grasp the book concept, but trying to apply it to myself is damned HARD. I'm stepping back a little to try to identify my emotions a bit better, as I seem to be having some trouble recognizing them. Anyway, I haven't abandoned the workshop, just trying to not be an engineer here. I am an engineer (see, I can do the I am thing ), but that gets big time in the way of figuring out this attractiveness/R stuff.
On the attractiveness front, I have done a few of the things you mentioned to others like making eye contact, noticing peoples reactions a bit more, and yes, I am finding that I am indeed attractive. That eye contact and smile thing is so cool, and it seems to giving me some more confidence as well.
In the mean time, MrsGGB got a letter today from the radiologist that did her mammogram asking her to come back in for another appointment. They didn't find anything, but said she's got dense breasts. This is the first Mammogram she's had since 2001. Anyway, she's flipping out b/c there is a history of breast cancer in her family. From what I've been able to gather, it is just a routine closer look and most likely nothing to worry about. That on top of cub scouts starting back up with all the recruitment rallies, school parents meetings, and S17's shenanigans, well she's tapped out. I tried to validate her feelings, but it just seemed to make things worse (not getting the hang of this validating thing). I'm not going to let her drag me into her pit though, best thing for me to do is acknowledge the pit but stay the heck out of it I guess.
Anyway, just journalling and letting you know I haven't lost interest or fallen off the face of the earth. Hopefully, you are still game as well.
She doesn't want validation. She wants comfort. Validating and comforting... are two dif things. GGB. Just hold your wife... let her know she is... she is... it.
She doesn't want validation. She wants comfort. Validating and comforting... are two dif things. GGB. Just hold your wife... let her know she is... she is... it.
Maybe. I've repeatedly dealt with a wife that appeared to want comfort and really wanted something else instead. Maybe validation, or a distraction that tweaks her attraction mechanism, or just some time alone. It's hard to tell sometimes.
Oh yeah, and if you're worried that she's down and want her reassurance that she's not upset with or disappointed by you, she's not going to be very comforted by any gestures you make. So be very clear what your internal state is before you try to comfort her... make sure you've got some strength to share.
Last edited by Crazy Eddie; 09/12/0701:13 PM.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
), but that gets big time in the way of figuring out this attractiveness/R stuff. 