I quipped "I just long for the day that you say that to me".
that's not "quipping". that's relationship nagging. be aware of what you have been saying to him.
yeah. [rubbing back of head, where a rather large goose egg has formed due to a smack from a 2x4 ]
I was just sitting here thinking that there is something sort of ironic about all of this. If we were strangers dating, then I wouldn't have to wonder if it was "okay" for me to contact him, etc. So I sometimes think "gosh, it would be just so much easier to just start over from scratch" but then I wouldn't have exactly what I am trying to save, which is our love, our history, our memories, the familiarity, our vows. Ugh. I can't articulate what I am trying to say. Let's put it this way-- I had a cooking class scheduled for tomorrow that just got cancelled. (Total bummer because the menu was amazing.) Anyway, I was really torn about whether or not I should tell H. (He knew I had two classes this week.) I finally sent a text that said "Dang it! My cooking class for tomorrow night got cancelled-I'm so bummed!" Earlier I had to text him to let him know a book he was expecting arrived. If we were people getting to know eachother and dating, I would feel perfectly fine sending the TMs. But with him, I had to wonder if it was "ok". He just called a few minutes ago to say "Aww. your class got cancelled, huh? You were supposed to cook that for me. haha" I did invite him over for dinner tomorrow night since my evening was suddenly free and he said he wasn't sure yet; he could tell me tomorrow. Then he said that he wanted to come by later to pick up the book if it was okay with me. (He has a class tonight.)
I am interested to see how that turns out; whether he just pops in to grab the book or if he lingers. Maybe I will get a better sense of why he won't say yes or no about tomorrow. It might be that he is supposed to celebrate his dad's bday. (They were supposed to celebrate tonight, but he forgot he had class.) I'll bet that's what it is. maybe.
See- *that* is exactly what I am talking about. I go thru all these mental girations.
On a happier note, I got the most killer seats for an upcoming concert that we are going to go to; us, plus a couple friends. Initially he hadn't wanted to go to this concert(and I *really* wanted to go) because we've seen the main band several times in the past 5 years. But when it was brought up at the bar the other night, our mutual friend was like "OMG! I am SO there!" (It's guy friend.) So, I said "Am I going to have to go with Friend?!" H was like "Well, if Friend is going, yeah, we can go." he added that it would be 'going somewhere with friends.' I am really looking forward to this.
Me-43 H-46 M 12 yrs 7/09 T 15 2 grown kids bomb 7/05/07 H moved out 8/04/07 11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
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