I'm running out of names for threads...

[COG]

AmyC,

Alot of ground HAS been gained. We HAVE come through a lot. We HAVE had some beautiful interactions. To be right back here facing this beast makes it seem like I've gone nowhere but what if I'm right back here because I have been through all the rest already?

Yep, I think you've hit the nail on the head. You've gone to hell and back, that's where you've gone. You've been in dreamland, semi-blind. But now things are coming clear. You've been beating yourself up over your failings for a long time, blinded by remorse, but now you are beginning to accept the fact that your H is very sick, weak, flawed, you pick the label. Don't get me wrong I know your failings, and I know you still have remorse, but you taken the right steps towards healing, growing, and forgiveness.

Instead of looking at this like the straw that's about to break this camel's back, I might try looking at it like I'm finally back in the appropriate position to fight what I should have been fighting before my MLC.

I love it AmyC, you nailed it. The choice is the same as before your MLC, to fight or to flight.

I'm looking into Al-Anon and I'm getting myself that counselor, too. And my Pastor. Because we might not be able to counsel a demon but we can damn well bind one.

Amen sista!! I'm with ya!

FrankD isn't very impressed with AA, and he's right that it's got to be a individual's choice. Just like DB there's no magic bullet. "Yep just show up to AA and your alcholism just magically disappears". I'd guess that 9 out of 10 people that go probably have that fantasy. But 1 in 10 make it according to Frank's stats.

It's a program, a step by step approach to healing oneself from the inside out. When the program is followed, it's more about healing, growing, and coping than it is about quitting drinking. The 12 steps pretty much cover every inner demon imaginable. But Frank is right, no matter what the approach, the individual has to choose.

My late brother and his W both went through rehab, and AA. It was the most inspiring process I've ever witnessed. They are my hero's. My bro was sober for 5 years before he was killed, my SIL about 20 years now. Both of them used alchohol and drugs to medicate two very sad and hurt inner beings. Both used rehab and AA as a compass to lead them to health.

There's only one way to know which direction is the right direction, TRY!

You are an inspiration AmyC. It always impresses me when you finally come out of the haze, and see clear again.

God Bless,

COG