thanks all. I know I have a right to feel hurt/anger, even if things in the world are worse, but honestly it does help me put it a little more in perspective.
not a great day today, in spite of that. just tired from last night's lack of sleep. the twins did great in preschool, I had a good therapy session, went to the dentist (oh the joy). all is okay, but still, I'm just concerned that I am getting way too invested in H again. hopes of things changing are getting way too high.
he just e-mailed me to let me know he needs to go to vegas in a couple of weeks for the weekend. um, needs? I don't even want to ask about that one. yeah, he used to go with his old company once in a blue moon, but I don't think the new one does that. or maybe they do. I know its not good for me to ask. or speculate. so I need to stop, but can't help think he's going there to either celebrate ow and his 1 year anniversary (which would make it a month earlier than I thought it was, or at least a couple of weeks earlier) or he is going with her because she is going with the company and he's just going to play. again, dumb to speculate, so I need to stop...but hard to. and really, does it matter if he is f'ing her here or there? what's the difference?
just bummed. not depressed, not wallowing, am keeping things in perspective, just bummed about the reality of our relationship.
and tired. so tired. H is coming over after work tonight. normally I'd take myself to the gym for some cardio, but I'm so tired I think I'm just going to take a hot bath and lay down/chill out while he spends time with them.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
