It won't be a debate. I will be somewhere else by then.
Met that gal the other night for a while. We had a nice time but kid issues (hers, not mine) keep getting in the way. We have a plan for a get together next week (I'm in Asia this week) which she swears the kids will not mess up. So we might finally get some time together.
It's amazing how nice it is to get some positive attention from an attractive female. I have really enjoyed anticipating our time together. I have been very up front with her about not dating until next year, but she still is making the effort to see me. I'll ask her at some point what's up with that, but for the time being I am enjoying the attention.
Of course, my counselor is asking, well if you're not dating, what's up with this gal? I told him even if I'm not dating, this gives us topics to discuss on how I can pay attention to my emotions, which actually is working well. And I think he bought the excuse!
built4speed My Saga "How others deal with the gifts you've given is not your decision, but theirs." - Richard Bach
It's amazing how nice it is to get some positive attention from an attractive female. I have really enjoyed anticipating our time together. I have been very up front with her about not dating until next year, but she still is making the effort to see me. I'll ask her at some point what's up with that, but for the time being I am enjoying the attention.
Of course, my counselor is asking, well if you're not dating, what's up with this gal? I told him even if I'm not dating, this gives us topics to discuss on how I can pay attention to my emotions, which actually is working well. And I think he bought the excuse!
Asia ? What are you doing in Asia ??
Your counselor will figure it out eventually.. maybe ?
He doesn't miss anything. I do need a number of months off, but I also need a bit of a distraction. So it's a fine line. It's wildly fun to flirt with her, her reactions are much more "normal", compared to how the ex responds to things. That will be the best part of my D, having women react typically.
I'm in Taiwan for work. Looking at some suppliers and trying to decide which one to use. Hard to sleep at night becauase the body clock is still on US time. About the time I get adjusted, I'll be heading back. Oh, well!
built4speed My Saga "How others deal with the gifts you've given is not your decision, but theirs." - Richard Bach
Sitting in the Tokyo airport. It's been weird travelling - usually I have to "call home" everyday, but this is the first time in 22 years I didn't have to do that. Another reminder of how sucky this is. I did some texts with D14, so I'm sure she's passing on info to the ex about me, at least some of it, anyway.
Have an outting planned Tuesday with my new gal pal. We are both looking forward to it. I'm not sure I'll be able to stay awake for it - I'm on Taiwan time.
built4speed My Saga "How others deal with the gifts you've given is not your decision, but theirs." - Richard Bach
Well, gal pal blew me off. I bought tickets for a show and had a dinner reservations. I had told her I was just D and was not interested in an R at the present time, just someone to hang with. Somehow she got the feeling that I was looking for something more and got uncomfortable with going out tonight, so she blew me off with a test message!!! Not even a phone call. Hey, I've been initiated into the electronic age!
That said, I really have to blame myself - I think my C called it right: what am I doing going out with someone if I'm not dating? The gal said it felt too much like a date. I have to give her that one - she liked to flirt and I flirted back and I have no doubt she thought I wanted to sleep with her. Probably because I did.
So Dating in the 2000s Lesson #1 learned - if you talk one way but act another, you get misaligned expectationas and things will go nowhere fast. She didn't want me as more than a friend but I acted like I did, and so, I got to go out by myself - one for the price of two... lesson learnt. My C is going to yell at me for this one.
Oh, and just to add insult to injury, some idiot backed into the front of my car at the place we were going. So I got to spend the evening solo, and get to spend the next several weeks get quotes and repairs. I hate Karma.
built4speed My Saga "How others deal with the gifts you've given is not your decision, but theirs." - Richard Bach
Well, I can only assume. Everything seemed to be going well. After out initial meeting, I only saw her once in person for about 45 minutes. It was at her daughter's 21st b-day gathering at a bar. So we didn't really have 1-on-1 time. I think my mistake was this: at one point she and her daughter started talking about their tatoos. She said, "B4S hasn't seen it yet, but it's way down on my lower back." I thought, hmmm, haven't seen it yet, huh? So whispered in her ear about that apparent Freudian slip, in a flirting way. She didn't really respond either way, just kept talking.
Then Monday (after I was out of the country for a week, and only texted her a few times during my trip) I get this huge three-message text saying she is not sure about this Tuesday outting - it seemed too much like a real date. Hmmm. I asked if I could call her, but she was at work and she just said talk after 5. So I called on my way home, no answer. Not good. morning of the show I called early before work and mentioned that I might be slightly later than we had planned and how about 7pm, and please call me. No ack.
So then after lunch I texted her saying dinner was at 7 and see you there, and she texted back that this was not going to work and to please stop! What???
So it went from we are definitely on to definitely off with no actually verbal discussion. At first I was just thinking this is just her, but thinking about it I can see what happened. But I thought I processed my emotions slow! Hers took 10 days from see you at the concert to don't call me again, with no additional contact between us!.
I totally understand that I was sending two messages and have learned form that. But I wish I could have had five minutes to straighten this out: I would have just said she was right that I was not acting enough like "just friends" and that I would do that better, because I really can't be in an R, the tanks are too low right now. But I didn't get the chance and I'm hardly into begging. That said, doesn't it seem a but un-adult-like to not even have the verbal discussion? That I will blame her for.
built4speed My Saga "How others deal with the gifts you've given is not your decision, but theirs." - Richard Bach
Sorry to hear about your sitch man. We've written back and forth before. Your story sounds so sad. You can see, at first this woman seemed appealing because she gave you positive feedback and made you feel good, but then they all bring their own baggage to the game. I hat that sh*t, man. It hold no appeal. One of my former neighbors is on Match.com. Her husabadn hit her, which is big time bad. She however, is a psycho woman as well. Her writeup on Match seems so normal, but I know what's in back of the picture! The whole singles meet and greet...yechh! Fat smokers. Greaaat! can't wait. Psycho woman, tat on her lower back, first date, no date... I put myslef in your shoes and you must feel like an alien. Like I did on the day I touched down here in Iraq! I might just move to Utah and live in the mountains when I get home from Iraq!
what is wrong with these WAWs? It's beyond me. You sound a lot like me. I'm 52, and I'm here in Iraq bench pressing with 30 year olds. Being divorced and dating 400 pound smokers has the same appeal to me as it seems to for you...ugh. NO THANKS. Inheriting someone els's kids and issues...it's everything Michele write about. It absolutely sucks. Dating is such a hideous thought. I (and you) HAVE a family, house, etc.... Ugh! I just don't get it. I can't seem to get back to your first posts. why did your W. want out? write if you get time. I like to here from the oldtimers.
