Could it be that I have already overcome most of the damage done by my MLC and that's why I am back at what I feel is square one...this is a hypothetical question by the way.
Alot of ground HAS been gained. We HAVE come through a lot. We HAVE had some beautiful interactions. To be right back here facing this beast makes it seem like I've gone nowhere but what if I'm right back here because I have been through all the rest already?
Instead of looking at this like the straw that's about to break this camel's back, I might try looking at it like I'm finally back in the appropriate position to fight what I should have been fighting before my MLC.
I'm looking into Al-Anon and I'm getting myself that counselor, too. And my Pastor. Because we might not be able to counsel a demon but we can damn well bind one. I just can't do it alone...
You have come far, and you are now in a better position to help him get out of his hole. He's 'cycling' through the same things I went through.
The fight isn't against 'alcohol' or the invented disease of 'alcoholism'. Alcohol is his crutch, his 'choice' of medicines to take away the hurt. It's an addictive substance for sure but it isn't the 'cause' of his problems as much as it is the choice he makes to 'escape' from them.
Less that 1% of AA members quit drinking. Most people who quit abusing a substance do so without AA or Al-Anon. They do it by deciding they don't want to live in their misery any more, and they get counseling to find out what is REALLY driving the demons inside.
Any 'real' study of substance abuse shows that. Trust me, I know this because I went through it.
I'm not saying "Don't go to AA or Al-Anon". I'm saying REALIZE that there is another problem within him that is being 'treated' with 'alcohol'. Al-Anon is all about stopping the 'enabling' and detaching from the abuser. It's about recovering yourself after living in despair. That's good if you need the support.
Alice Cooper, the musician said this in an interview
Quote:
Alcohol to me was really basically medicine. It wasn't fun anymore -- in order to cope with what I was doing with my stage show and a tour that goes on for two years, alcohol was my medicine. I had to somehow come to grips with the fact that I really didn't want that anymore. But it was so much a part of my life that I had to get rid of it.
Some people DO have a tendency towards addiction to alcohol. However, in my experience those who are 'medicating' with alcohol already have a low self esteem and other issues. Labeling them 'alcoholic' and forcing them to go to AA, which preaches 'powerlessness', harms their psyche much more. No man or woman wants to be 'powerless'. I have power over alcohol when I choose not to use it to FEEL BETTER.
It was when I addressed the issues of WHY I needed to drink that I could get the anger out, and get pissed that I WAS allowing this to happen to me.
Of course there are many people (Apparently 1% of alcohol abusers) who DO respond to 'powerlessness' and 'Let go and let God'. And I say it's great that AA can help them. But the statistics and studies show that you MUST address the root cause of the medicating, which will then open the door for addressing the abuse.
