Almost a WAW

[Dom R]

I really am wondering if I will ever have feelings of desire for my H. It bothers me. I even told him that during one of our talks. He didn't say anything.

I know you were hurt at the time. and being honest.
But please remember, that is one of THE most damaging things you can say to a man. I think it's one of the worst things you can say relationshipwise, without crossing the line over into specifically attacking.
(ie: if you said you would never desire him, because he's so ugly/whatever)

Please think of it this way:
It's about equivalent to adulterous spouses spewing, "I NEVER LOVED YOU! I NEVER WILL!!"

Hopefully, we both know that they arent being truthful about the first part, and the second part doesnt have to be true either.
They may feel that way at the time... but it's still horribly hurtful to say it.



Now, what to do, when you feel like doubting yourself and your desire for your spouse? :
I think one of the worst counter-productive things you can do, is get fixated on,
"I dont think i'll ever be turned on by you again!".

It's like wondering, "Am I ever going to get to sleep tonight?"

"well, I'm not asleep yet"

"still not asleep"

"gee, why am I not asleep...?"

You fall asleep when you quit worrying about it and watching yourself about it all the time, and just let yourself relax.

So, ...


RELAX ALREADY!!!

heh heh. kidding.. see you over in the other forum