"Any sex" sounds odd to me. Sex with someone I didn't find attractive would be worse than no sex. I think that expectations about the relationship have allot of bearing on how we perceive the meaning of sex both when single and married.
You know I love you but do you think I can just force myself to resolve a major identity crisis on the spot? Clearly, my problem is that I married and became a mother while I was still in late adolescence and I have no clue who I am as an adult woman in relationship to a man outside of that context or the context of my work since as my 2bx put it himself, he had no desire to play the stereotypical male role in our relationship.
I have decided that one of your animals is definitely the terrier. Which you should take as a great compliment since it means that you have the power to investigate deep dark holes and sniff out rats and take them down with your pointy teeth. Therefore, you are invaluable as a friend. And, yes, I am avoiding your question for the moment but I'll keep thinking about it as I send my customers e-mails full of typos and haphazardly fold the laundry.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Primarily nocturnal, raccoons travel in small groups of one or two families foraging for fruits, vegetables, and small animals. They are excellent swimmers although they feel more at home in trees. Raccoons are often seen sloshing their hands and food in water before eating. Symbolically hands represent holding or receiving. If raccoon appears to you it might be asking you to let go of a situation, person or habit. On the other hand it could be telling you to reach out and embrace the gifts being offered to you by Great Spirit.
Raccoons are often found sitting high in trees. From this vantage point they can observe everything around them and see danger long before it arrives. Extremely curious it leaves no stone unturned. Curiosity has its advantages and its disadvantages. Following ones curiosity can open doorways into new and exciting territory, although curiosity applied without caution can lead to trouble.
These masked bandits are persistent robbers and do not tire easily. They are often spotted around camp grounds foraging for food. Because of its masked face the raccoon holds the energies of disguise, magic, and secrecy. Hiding behind its mask it can take on several identities at once and play out different roles. Seldom does it reveal its true identity. It loves adventure and leads us down a road to new discoveries. Shape shifting is part of its magic. Those with this totem do well in professions relating to the theater.
Raccoons have an air of indifference around them when caught in the act of a robbery, although if provoked they can become ferocious. Strong and muscular the raccoon can hold its ground in most all situations and teaches us to do the same.
The raccoon is a powerful ally and holds the gift of transformation. When it appears in a persons life the many faces of self are about to be revealed.
I also have a winged horse and a falcon. My zoo, my rules...
Quote:
You know I love you but do you think I can just force myself to resolve a major identity crisis on the spot?
I don't know, I didn't have sex ON my wedding night (nor on my honeymoon, and less than 2x a month the first year we were married).
seems to me maybe it is the other way around, when I was single the any sex is better than no sex might have been true at times, but certainly not all the time. I think it was more of a wanting what I couldn't have thing. Several GF's threw themselves at me after I broke it off with them (including MrsGGB when I was getting cold feet about getting M'd), and well that was just a huge turn-off. Yuck! Made me want to run for the hills. Mr Happy is an impatient little pecker, and so the sexual assault sometimes worked, but left me feeling pretty crummy afterwards. Fast-forward to an SSM, and I definitely got to more of an "any sex is better than no sex" or "take what I can get and be happy with it" place. Now looking back with the wisdom I've gained from being here, I see how that attitude only made things worse. So my point is that feeling didn't change when I got married in the direction you posited.
Hee hee, I can see it now. Mo accidently sends her best customer an email with obscure references to her menagerie lining up for a roll in the hay with commentary on how boinking the same guy is so different for each one. Hmm, not good for business.....or maybe it is.
If you have been following along, just for sh!ts and giggles and amusement, you said one of your animals was a horse:
The Horse
The horse symbolizes freedom and the power that comes with being free. They pulled the wagon trains across the prairies opening up new frontiers to be explored. Horses helped turn the Lakota and other Native tribes into the powerful mounted warriors and nomads that they became, although taming the horse wasn't easy, as their spirit for freedom was a fire that burned within them.
Those with this medicine can be fiercely independent and have little tolerance for anything or anyone that limits their free expression. This characteristic can create challenges in relationships of all kinds, especially co-dependent ones. Those with this totem are teachers to their partners, friends and family showing them how to stand solid within themselves. Individuals who choose to be involved with a horse person do so because the need for self empowerment is strong. They seek the horse and the power it holds rather than the horse seeking them.
Because horse medicine people hold the energy of power their leadership and teaching skills are usually in demand. Intuitive and wise they make excellent therapists. They enjoy helping others but often feel as if there is no one to lead or teach them. If people become too dependent they will respond like a bucking bronco. Personal relationships often lack emotional or mental nourishment especially in the earlier years of life. To compensate for this they are forced to go within and strengthen their bond with spirit. This bond provides them with the nourishment needed to evolve their soul while staying grounded in the earth experience.
Horses give their riders the safety of speed and the promise of adventure. Natives tribes used the horse to run, fight, send messages, hunt and move their villages quickly. The horse carried people and their belongings into new uncharted territory and the challenges that it held. If horse has come to you, you are being offered a gift of safe movement. Is there somewhere that you want or need to go? Horse can help you get there, whether the place is physical or spiritual. Is their a new venture you want to undertake? Call on horse to help you create it. Are there challenges in front of you that you dot want to deal with? If so, the horse asks you to awaken your inner power and move forward with courage.
Before this continent became so populated, it was well suited to the Mustang. They had adapted themselves to live in harsh environments on diets that wouldn't sustain most horses. However, their need for freedom made them unsuited to a country whose people seem compelled to control and dominate everything. Because of this the mustang is just about gone.
When the horse, either wild or domestic, appears in your life the following questions should be asked. Are you pushing boundaries that are going to cause severe repercussions? Are you trying in your need to be free, to not play by the rules? If so, this may not be a bad thing, but learn the lesson of mustang, there can be a high price to pay for freedom.
ETA: Actually Souther girl since you said "obviously" it changes why does is "obviously" change?? This is a sincere question because I don't understand why it changes and so I especially don't understand why it is obvious!!
I really don't have time to do the reply justice but just look at this: there was a famous study where an attractive woman propositioned random strangers for sex, and a sizable percentage of guys (I think it was 75%) said yes. These were young men, if I recall (undergraduates), but you see the trend. None of the women propositioned by an attractive guy said yes.
In a committed relationship, several things change. On the base biological front, you'll have a hard time carrying that first endorphine rush more than two years into a relationship, so "just sex" becomes harder for both genders. Sex now "means" something in the context of that relationship, both positive and negative day-to-day stuff can influence both the man's and the woman's willingness to have sex. It can be an expression of love, tenderness, anger, a tool for manipulation, a part of an intracouple power struggle - the list is endless. There's great potential for committed couple sex to be far better and far worse than "just sex" with a casual aquaintance.
If you have been following along, just for sh!ts and giggles and amusement, you said one of your animals was a horse:
The Horse
The horse symbolizes freedom and the power that comes with being free. They pulled the wagon trains across the prairies opening up new frontiers to be explored. Horses helped turn the Lakota and other Native tribes into the powerful mounted warriors and nomads that they became, although taming the horse wasn't easy, as their spirit for freedom was a fire that burned within them.
Those with this medicine can be fiercely independent and have little tolerance for anything or anyone that limits their free expression. This characteristic can create challenges in relationships of all kinds, especially co-dependent ones. Those with this totem are teachers to their partners, friends and family showing them how to stand solid within themselves. Individuals who choose to be involved with a horse person do so because the need for self empowerment is strong. They seek the horse and the power it holds rather than the horse seeking them.
Because horse medicine people hold the energy of power their leadership and teaching skills are usually in demand. Intuitive and wise they make excellent therapists. They enjoy helping others but often feel as if there is no one to lead or teach them. If people become too dependent they will respond like a bucking bronco. Personal relationships often lack emotional or mental nourishment especially in the earlier years of life. To compensate for this they are forced to go within and strengthen their bond with spirit. This bond provides them with the nourishment needed to evolve their soul while staying grounded in the earth experience.
Horses give their riders the safety of speed and the promise of adventure. Natives tribes used the horse to run, fight, send messages, hunt and move their villages quickly. The horse carried people and their belongings into new uncharted territory and the challenges that it held. If horse has come to you, you are being offered a gift of safe movement. Is there somewhere that you want or need to go? Horse can help you get there, whether the place is physical or spiritual. Is their a new venture you want to undertake? Call on horse to help you create it. Are there challenges in front of you that you dot want to deal with? If so, the horse asks you to awaken your inner power and move forward with courage.
Before this continent became so populated, it was well suited to the Mustang. They had adapted themselves to live in harsh environments on diets that wouldn't sustain most horses. However, their need for freedom made them unsuited to a country whose people seem compelled to control and dominate everything. Because of this the mustang is just about gone.
When the horse, either wild or domestic, javascript:void(0) appears in your life the following questions should be asked. Are you pushing boundaries that are going to cause severe repercussions? Are you trying in your need to be free, to not play by the rules? If so, this may not be a bad thing, but learn the lesson of mustang, there can be a high price to pay for freedom.Corri
Hmmm. This horse is much nicer than the one I had in mind. I like it.
I really don't have time to do the reply justice but just look at this: there was a famous study where an attractive woman propositioned random strangers for sex, and a sizable percentage of guys (I think it was 75%) said yes. These were young men, if I recall (undergraduates), but you see the trend. None of the women propositioned by an attractive guy said yes.
Yes but was the sex they had with the researchers better than no sex?
I really don't have time to do the reply justice but just look at this: there was a famous study where an attractive woman propositioned random strangers for sex, and a sizable percentage of guys (I think it was 75%) said yes. These were young men, if I recall (undergraduates), but you see the trend. None of the women propositioned by an attractive guy said yes.
Yes but was the sex they had with the researchers better than no sex?
I doubt they took the research that far. *g* But the students seemed to think it would be. After all, they had no emotional connection to the researchers nor any idea if they'd be horrible in bed. So for them the equation "any sex is likely to be better than no sex" seems to hold.
appears in your life the following questions should be asked. Are you pushing boundaries that are going to cause severe repercussions? Are you trying in your need to be free, to not play by the rules? If so, this may not be a bad thing, but learn the lesson of mustang, there can be a high price to pay for freedom.Corri